By Andrew Mullen

If I’m going to write something meaningful, I might as well start with the battlefield inside my head. Pondering what I can write for this article is giving me anxiety. And suddenly, my mind starts wandering, starts talking, and the voices won’t stop. Too many to count. All of them pulling me into the depths of my own madness. There’s the voice that wants to create something meaningful. The voice that wants to run away. The voice that’s overthinking everything. And the voice judging all the other voices for overthinking. One thought trips over another, then another, until the whole mental committee starts fighting for who’s in charge. It’s chaos, but it’s my chaos. My internal madness.

Anxious Voice:

Dear Visionary Viewpoints, did you know when you created this platform, you’d be inducing anxiety in people? I know, I know, before you even say it – you didn’t give me anxiety. I gave myself anxiety, right? But did you consider that giving us the chance to challenge ourselves to write “inspiring articles” might send some of us spiraling into an existential writing crisis?

Rational Voice:

Bro, it didn’t give you anxiety. You gave yourself anxiety.

Anxious Voice:

Okay, okay, but listen. If Visionary Viewpoints never created this opportunity, what would I even have to feel anxious about? No platform, no article, no anxiety. Cause and effect, right?

Philosophical Voice:

Ah, yes, the law of cause and effect. Your anxious thoughts are the effect, sure – but the cause was triggered the moment the editor said, “Hey, write something inspiring.”

Blaming Voice:

So, tell me, is Visionary Viewpoints the cause of my anxiety? Am I the cause? Or are we coparenting this anxiety together? Who’s giving who anxiety here?

Observing Self:

Either way, anxiety has arrived. Let’s acknowledge that.

Inspirational Voice:

Come on, man. You’ve got this. You can do this.

Judgmental Voice:

Oh no. This is bad. Really bad. Now you’ve lost it. This is completely irrational thinking. “You have not got this.”

Bargaining Voice:

Dear Higher Power, Ancestors, Spirit Guides, or whoever is on call right now. If you help me find the right words for this article, I’ll start going back to church. I’ll build a shrine. I’ll meditate more. Please, for the love of God, can’t you just help me?

Judgmental Voice:

Damn, dude, you need to get your sh#t together.

Confused Voice:

Who said that?

Judgmental Voice:

Me. The judge I’m the one telling you when I feel you’re not good enough.

Confused Voice:

So now you’re blaming me for how you feel? Maybe, you need to get your shi#t together and realize you’re the creator of your own judgmental thoughts and feelings.

Me Internalizing:

Wow. Aren’t our minds impressive? They will blame, debate, bargain, negotiate, and philosophize with anyone, or themselves, just to avoid taking responsibility for their own thoughts and feelings. Watching them argue, I realize the mind will do anything to avoid admitting that it’s the one pulling the strings.

Self-Realizing Voice:

Damn. You’re right. Sorry about that. I won’t blame you again for the anxiety I created. It wasn’t you. It was me.

Reflective Voice:

Why are all my thoughts so conflicting?

Insight Voice:

Maybe that’s the point. The answer lies inside the conflict itself. These voices aren’t meant to fight, they’re meant to work in unison together.

Grateful Voice:

So, thank you, Visionary Viewpoints. I get it. “Heavy is the head that wears the crown.” “With great power comes great responsibility.” Did you know when creating this platform, the existential crises people would be going through? Thanks for giving me the opportunity to turn my anxiety, my madness, onto a platform I can share instilling _______? I’m not touching this one, I’ll let the people decide what this is instilling in themselves.

I share my madness, or what we can call my internal thought process. We all have these internal dialogues, but very few of us take the time to explore them to a greater understanding. We all have this internal committee – loud – anxious – judgmental – confused – and even inspiring. All these voices exist. Can we sit down with them long enough to try and understand what they are trying to say?