Lessons from a Cherry Tree

By Karen Allaire

Life is often a challenge. I tend to experience the struggles of life as suffering. I came to understand this better with a beautiful experience with my cherry tree that I’d like to share.

I bought a cherry tree in 2004. The tag declared “Produces the best of all tart cherries.” As the tree grew it became a steady rooted presence in my life. I’ve experienced many moments of bliss while picking her cherries. I live in a neighborhood with small lots. As the tree grew the neighbors welcomed her branches and cherries into their yards.

One day I saw a web in one of the branches. The garden center said the tree was infested by canker and advised me to take it down. I suffered as I struggled to accept their perspective. They were the experts on trees but how could this be? I decided to offer the tree weekly healing energy sessions over the winter. When spring came, she looked great. I consulted with an arborist and now she is regularly pruned.

Last year was a hot wet spring and early summer. She was covered with blossoms and later laden with fruit. Her branches sagged under the weight of the cherries like a heavily pregnant woman. Towards the end of June, I started to pick cherries. A few evenings later I discovered soggy, brown, rotted cherries on her branches. I spent days suffering. I was crying, picking rotten cherries, and putting them into the compost bin. The tree is tall and these days I can pick about 50% of the cherries. I settled into a routine of picking up rotting cherries from the ground as they fell. I picked from my yard and the neighbors’ yards. A few days later two of my neighbors shared with me their fear that the tree was old, sick, hollow, and would snap in a storm and fall on their house.

The thought of losing the tree I consider a constant in my life was devastating. I suffered and struggled again to accept another’s perspective, but this time was different. The tree was bigger and as the owner I felt frightened and responsible for what might happen if it snapped in a storm. I deferred to my neighbors as the experts. I abandoned the idea of getting the arborist’s perspective about what would be best for the tree. Instead, I called and asked him to take it down. Why did I do that? Self judgement. I labeled myself inadequate to make a good decision in the situation. I was all gummed up with fear and collapsed.

Luckily, I have a great arborist. He examined the tree, called me, and said, “It would be a shame to take the tree down.” When I shared his perspective with my neighbors, they were comfortable with his opinion and glad the tree didn’t need to come down. I felt relieved but also judged myself for not waiting to decide until talking with the arborist. Why wasn’t I willing to stay with the struggle until he came by? I would have struggled, listened to him, and struggled some more to make a decision that was best for all involved. I believe my emotional state is what held me back.

Ultimately, I decided to challenge my self-judgements. Now I believe it’s ok to accept a situation as challenging, and struggle with it before deciding. Self-judgement prevented me from considering all options in order to make the best decision. If I fall into self-judgement during the process that’s what creates my suffering. I said to myself “I have the ability to take the steps to be responsible for the tree. I’m not going to have the tree taken down. I’ll continue yearly consultation with the arborist. I’ll know when the tree’s time is complete.” I gained a deeper understanding of myself through the struggle. Now I appreciate my cherry tree as a beautiful symbol of freedom and liberation from self-judgement.

I’m happy to report the tree is having a good year. There were less cherries and the squirrels helped by eating the cherries at the top. The cherry pie is ooh la la delicious!